My first impression of your cover page was that this was going to be a very classic set of love stories. I liked that you chose a minimalistic layout, and the flowers at the header were also a nice touch on the Romantic theme. Overall, the cover page is very readable, nothing is too gaudy or outrageous. I was completely not expecting your introduction setup. I was imagining the stories that would be following to be rather a “This is what happen, the end” type of story, and I was wrong! I liked that you made the introduction personal. A very informal conversation between mother and daughter. You even went as far as expressing the daughter’s unwillingness to read the book, well, because she was busy (but we all know it’s because people in college already have to read so much. Why would we add on anymore – willingly?!). I also really liked your concluding sentence and how it pulled me in. I wanted to know what was in that journal! I don’t care if I’m nosy!
Nicole, your story reads absolutely true to a young girl 'falling in love' over and over with each new boy who catches her eye. I wrote the girl off fairly early, but was surprised when she pulled a pretty hard punch at her mom about the divorce! This is a family that doesn't mess around. I identify so strongly with being too busy to add something else to do on my list. The mom seems very wise, and her dialogue reads so smoothly. It surprised me a little that the girl was in college, and not in high school or middle school, especially based on her drop-of-a-hat tendency to fall in love with boys she meets, and the fact that she's a smidge whiny, but I was probably like that as a freshman too, so who am I to judge? Overall, it was a really great read and I'm looking forward to see what else happens.
I am already drawn in and very interested to see what is going to happen with your Indian Epics Storybook. When I first saw all of the words on the introduction page, I was a little unsure of how I was going to like it. But it read very well and kept the reader engaged as they went down the page. Your layout is great. The minimalistic feel realy helps because the dialogue could make any other layout look too busy. The coverpage is great. It definitely lets the reader know that the Storybook is going to be about love stories. I am curious to see if this journal is going to be the mother telling her story with the father (while following the storyline of the epics) or the stories of the Sita and the other love stories in both epics. I look forward to reading more of your work!
I like that your storybook cover page isn't too cluttered or distracting, it is clean and simple and does a good job at conveying what the subject matter within your storybook will contain. The flowers on the tree along with the picture of Rama and Sita at their weddings lets you know right away that this storybook is going to be a collection of love stories. I like your storytelling style for the introduction, the back and forth dialogue makes it feel much more like an actual conversation between a mother and teenage daughter. When the daughter called out the mom and said she wasn't trusting of love because she got divorced but that doesn't mean that the boy she loves is bad, I felt like I was listening to one of my cousins yelling at her mom. I like that the mom stays strong the whole time and shares some of her wisdom with the daughter. I'm curious as to where this story is going to go now that the daughter has the book to read. I look forward to reading more!
Hello Nicole! I like how nice and neat your storybook website looks! When I first clicked on the link to your page the introduction isn't what I expected, in a good way. I expected a more serious dialogue due to the serene nature of the layout but was pleasantly surprised at the modern dialogue exchanged by both mother and daughter. I enjoyed the tactic you are using to begin your storybook. And I also like how you threw in that the daughter was half Indian. That way she is more exposed to her culture on that side. Also, how the mom offered her advice because of her experience in her previous marriage. I'm interested to see how reading all these love stories with these couples from the Indian epics will change her view about that boy that she says she just fell in love with! Great job and good luck with the progress on your project!
Great introduction! I really like the photograph that you chose. The character of the leather makes me curious about what stories are beneath its cover. The dialogue was very well done. Your colloquial language made me feel like I had my ear to the phone and was listening to the conversation directly. I recommend that you name your characters in the first sentence. I find that naming characters makes them seem more real. I know that your stories are going to be about Dasaratha and Kaikeyi; Sita and Rama; and Shakuntala and Dushyanta, but you didn’t make a laundry list. Excellent work. It seems like love at first sight keeps coming up in the stories that we read. I think this introduction both addresses that subject in a modern context and sets up the stories. I don’t know if you plan to finish your storybook with another phone call between the mother and daughter, but I think it would be a powerful way to conclude.
I absolutely love your opening the introduction is an intriguing story. I love how the mom left the notebook of the epics. I could see this in a show or movie or something. Your site is also really awesome. The interaction between the mom and daughter is so real. I have an extremely funny story that goes along with your storybook. I actually met my fiancee in chemistry class over 5 years ago. We hung out with friends a couple weekends after that. Two weeks later we were dating and have been ever since. We were friends for two weeks and have been best friends ever since. I giggle at that because we are getting married this coming summer. I will be coming back to see how the story develops. Keep up the great work. I really love your writing style too. I'm glad I got paired with you again. I had read some of your blog posts early this semester.
Your comment made my night! It was too funny! I can't believe that you met your fiance in chemistry class! I picked chemistry because it was supposed to relate how the girl felt "chemistry" with her crush. Congratulations on your engagement, and I wish you the best on your marriage!
I have only read your introduction so far so I am first going to say that I think your homepage is really nice. I like the background, it is actually the same background as my storybook, and I like the picture that you used. I also enjoyed your introduction. It was very easy to follow and to read. I loved the dialogue between the daughter and mother. It definitely sounds like a conversation that could really happen. I think it was a great lead-in to the other stories that you have. It gave me enough information to know what your storybook is about and it caught my interest. I will probably be back in future weeks to read the rest of the stories because you made it sound so interesting. I also like how you are using the stories as a journal to teach about love. I think that is a unique way to present the stories and I can't wait to read more. Great job.
Hey Nicole! I like to start off by complimenting on your choice of image for when you first click on the storybook. It really lets the viewers know what they are getting into. Just from the image you can tell this storybook is going to about love. I also how like simple and plain your storybook is. It really sets a peaceful and pretty tone for your storybook. I really enjoyed you introduction. I like how you found a way to introduce the Indian love epics. It was really creative. I like how you modernized to make it more relatable. I think every girl goes through that phase where they “think” they have fallen in love or found the “one” way before they are even mature enough to understand what love is. I did not notice any errors or anything. Good job Nicole! I look forward to reading more your post and storybooks.
The picture on you opening page of the storybook was a perfect summation of the context inside. I like the approach you have with your character, Oakley, and how she’s using the stories from her heritage as a guidance in her own life. It also reminds me a bit of the princess bride in that the stories are coming alive for Oakley when she reads them. Sita’s entry reminds me of the Songs of Solomon. It shows how she’s completely enamored with Rama and her passions are overwhelming. Rama comes off a bit immature when he claims to be embarrassed by his reactions to Sita and through his brother’s teasing, which is a bit uncharacteristic of the Rama we’ve been reading about. I also think it’d help to have the thoughts that are Oakley’s entries set aside more so that it’s clearer that these are her own thoughts and not Rama’s or Sita’s.
Nicole, I loved the concept for your storybook! Something that stood out to me right away was the title of your stories on the sidebar. First of all, most people only have one story as part of the storybook right now, so go you for being ahead of the game! Second of all, the titles instantly made me excited to speed through the introduction to get to your stories because the titles themselves were so creative. However, I tried to speed through the introduction, but could not because your introduction was also so well-written! You are a great writer Nicole and it shows in your storybook project for this class. I loved the whole concept in the introduction of mother and daughter having a conversation about a boy. So simple, yet so powerful. It really added a lot to the introduction just to have the whole thing be a conversation. I do think there is room to add a little more detail if you wanted to do that, but your storybook definitely is not lacking!
Nicole! I love reading your work because you are such a good writer! I also really like your storybook. You are so ahead in this class so props to you! Your story book is very organized and easy to navigate. I like the titles you have like " through Sita's heart and Rama's eyes". The title itself explains a lot about both of these characters. I can tell that you have proofread and corrected any grammar mistakes. I like how you used very descriptive words in your writing. I enjoyed reading your second story. It definitely has a good message about the sacrifices that should be made for the one you love. I am definitely looking forward to more stories to come! Great job!
I chose you as my free option for this week. I had already read your introduction so I decided that I would read your first story, Through Sita's Heart and Rama's Eyes. I first want to say that I love the title of this story. It is very poetic. I also like how you incorporated everyone's thoughts. The young girl who is reading the diary gives her opinion both at the beginning and the end of the story and I think that it fits in well. I also like how you had Rama and Sita tell their thoughts. It felt very modern even though the stories are older. I think that they were written very well and fit with your storybook concept. I really enjoy the way that you write. It is very descriptive but flows so well. It was easy to read and that is the reason that I chose to come back to your storybook. I will have to read some more in the weeks to come. Good job so far!
Hey Nicole! I got to read your storybook this week and so far I really like it! It’s sort of like a young readers fiction novel where the stories of old start to intertwine with what’s happening now. Might even be, “Young Love 101”? When I was reading your introduction I didn’t really understand what was going on until the mother tells Oakley about the journal and then it all became clear.
I loved both of your stories and I think that the contrast between the two is perfect! I didn’t see a whole lot of grammar mistakes but I think it would make it easier to read if you split up the paragraphs into smaller paragraphs. You might even elaborate on Oakley’s part as she reads through the journal to get a more complete feel of the difference between the stories and the character that you’re using. However overall it’s a great storybook and I look forward to reading more!
Hey Nicole! This is my second time reading your storybook so far and I like the way things are developing. When I first read your storybook it was at the point where you only had an introduction so I couldn’t really see how things were being developed but now that I have read more I can see where the story is going. I love how you have the story set up through the point of view of a modern day college girl who has her own crush, its like she is Sita and whoever she loves is Rama, in a way. I think its cool how the story is her looking back on an old book and reading through it to find that these people who lived so long ago had the exact same struggles for love that she is going through! I also like how you italicize the girl’s thoughts so that the reader can get a feel of what she is thinking while she reads through the story. Great work!
Nicole, I was drawn to your storybook site because of your unique title “When Love Confesses”. I instantly thought it would be a great read and I was right! I also assumed from the beginning that it would be about Rama and Sita, so I was very pleased to find out that I was right because I love the story of Rama and Sita, although I never appreciated the ending to that epic relationship in the Ramayana. I love the idea of how you incorporated other women who write diaries about falling in love with Rama though! I think it is a very interesting perspective to look at Rama and Sita’s love story through their eyes. You did a great job of drawing the reader in and not drawing them back out by boring them. You kept me interested the whole time and I want more! Overall, you did a fantastic job with this storybook!
Since I had already read your introduction and first story, I read your second story, Through Dasharatha's Soul and Kaikeyi's Mind. I really love your storybook. I think that this story goes well with what your storybook is. I like how we have Oakley's thoughts in the beginning before she reads the story and then again after she has read it. I think that the story is well written and you can really sense the emotions between Dasharatha and Kaikeyi. It shows that they had a strong love but it deteriorated because of a lack of commitment. It gives more of a reason why Kaikeyi ends up so bitter. She is needing attention that Dasharatha isn't giving her. It is a good lesson for Oakley to learn that a relationship is more than just the infatuation. Its also about commitment to each other. Overall, I really enjoyed your story and I think that it was easy to read and fit in with your theme.
Hi Nicole! I was immediately drawn to read your storybook because I am such a hopeless romantic, and anything about love I have got a read. I am such a sucker for all things lovey dovey, even though I hate to admit it. I thought your introduction was a clever and funny way to preface your stories. At first I was wondering how it was all going to relate, but I loved how itall came together at the end. What a great idea to pull together some of the great love stories we've read into a storybook like this. I thought the first story was great, and it definitely made me excited to read the rest of your storybook. Overall, I think you are off to a great start. Your storybook is crelative, well-written, easy to read, and interesting. Keep up the great work!
Cool story Nicole!. I liked how instead of writing about rama and sita you chose to write about Dashartha and kaikeyi, It was really interesting how you used diary entries and the readers reflection about them as the content of your story. What I liked most is how the reader filled in the gaps of the story and always made a great introduction into the next paragraph.The layout of site makes it easy to read to. There is not anything to distract the reader nor is your site bland either. Your essay is however full of grammar mistakes. (just Kidding) . Its writing is really well done from grammar mistakes to the actually organization of your story. Have you thought about writing about Drapudi and the Pandavas? What about instead of relationship between lovers how about Ravana and the brother who betrayed him? Keep the stories coming I thought they were really interesting!
As I was scrolling though the class directory, I remembered reading your Storybook introduction and thought it was amazing. I love the way you have built the layout. It really complements the theme of the story. Also, the other two stories you have added since then are wonderful and fit perfectly with the idea that I see that you are developing. I think you have a really great voice when you write and a unique take on retelling stories. I am really interested to see how you are going to end this Storybook. Is the girl going to stay fixated on her boy? Is she going to have a heart-to-heart with her mom? I am curious but I can see that you will have a great plan for it! I definitely plan on coming back around to read the rest of the Storybook. Good job and keep up the great work!
This was my third time reading this story book, and your newest addition, “Through Dasharatha’s Soul and Kaikeyi’s Mind”, added a very different element to the story book compared to the other stories. I think this addition was a very nice touch, as true love is not only about the first few moments when everything feels new and exciting, but also about the hard times and the struggles couples go through after time passes. I like how you set up the story so that the same problem is individually being described by the two opposing viewpoints one at a time, first from the perspective of Dasharatha and then from Kaikeyi. It’s interesting to see how their two views are so different from one another, and both could be doing more to improve their relationship with one another. I also like that this story kind of sets up a backstory for why Kaikeyi ends up betraying Dasharatha in the Ramayana. Great story, kep up the good work!
Hi, Nicole! I am actually in the Myth-Folklore class, but I wanted to pop over for my extra credit this week. I am taking the Indian Epics course next semester, so I wanted kind of an idea of what the content of the class was like. The title of your storybook caught my attention. Although I am not much for love stories, the idea of love confessing was really intriguing to me. I thought your coverpage photo gave the reader a really good idea about what the characters in the stories might be like. I read your introduction, and it did a great job of leading into your topic. The dialogue between the mother and daughter was very reminiscent of a girl I knew my freshman year of college—the image of a naïve girl head over heels with a boy she doesn’t even know is one we are all familiar with. It was really creative to use that as a lead in for what I’m assuming are more traditional stories. Nicely done! Sidenote: I love the name Oakley.
I wanted to leave a comment on your wall as a part of the extra credit commenting. This is because I have really enjoyed reading your blog and keeping up with what you have been doing. I know you paired with me early on in the semester. I am glad to see that you are blazing ahead. I wish the best for you in your other classes.
My first impression of your cover page was that this was going to be a very classic set of love stories. I liked that you chose a minimalistic layout, and the flowers at the header were also a nice touch on the Romantic theme. Overall, the cover page is very readable, nothing is too gaudy or outrageous. I was completely not expecting your introduction setup. I was imagining the stories that would be following to be rather a “This is what happen, the end” type of story, and I was wrong! I liked that you made the introduction personal. A very informal conversation between mother and daughter. You even went as far as expressing the daughter’s unwillingness to read the book, well, because she was busy (but we all know it’s because people in college already have to read so much. Why would we add on anymore – willingly?!). I also really liked your concluding sentence and how it pulled me in. I wanted to know what was in that journal! I don’t care if I’m nosy!
ReplyDeleteNicole, your story reads absolutely true to a young girl 'falling in love' over and over with each new boy who catches her eye. I wrote the girl off fairly early, but was surprised when she pulled a pretty hard punch at her mom about the divorce! This is a family that doesn't mess around. I identify so strongly with being too busy to add something else to do on my list. The mom seems very wise, and her dialogue reads so smoothly. It surprised me a little that the girl was in college, and not in high school or middle school, especially based on her drop-of-a-hat tendency to fall in love with boys she meets, and the fact that she's a smidge whiny, but I was probably like that as a freshman too, so who am I to judge? Overall, it was a really great read and I'm looking forward to see what else happens.
ReplyDeleteI am already drawn in and very interested to see what is going to happen with your Indian Epics Storybook. When I first saw all of the words on the introduction page, I was a little unsure of how I was going to like it. But it read very well and kept the reader engaged as they went down the page. Your layout is great. The minimalistic feel realy helps because the dialogue could make any other layout look too busy. The coverpage is great. It definitely lets the reader know that the Storybook is going to be about love stories. I am curious to see if this journal is going to be the mother telling her story with the father (while following the storyline of the epics) or the stories of the Sita and the other love stories in both epics.
ReplyDeleteI look forward to reading more of your work!
I like that your storybook cover page isn't too cluttered or distracting, it is clean and simple and does a good job at conveying what the subject matter within your storybook will contain. The flowers on the tree along with the picture of Rama and Sita at their weddings lets you know right away that this storybook is going to be a collection of love stories. I like your storytelling style for the introduction, the back and forth dialogue makes it feel much more like an actual conversation between a mother and teenage daughter. When the daughter called out the mom and said she wasn't trusting of love because she got divorced but that doesn't mean that the boy she loves is bad, I felt like I was listening to one of my cousins yelling at her mom. I like that the mom stays strong the whole time and shares some of her wisdom with the daughter. I'm curious as to where this story is going to go now that the daughter has the book to read. I look forward to reading more!
ReplyDeleteHello Nicole!
ReplyDeleteI like how nice and neat your storybook website looks! When I first clicked on the link to your page the introduction isn't what I expected, in a good way. I expected a more serious dialogue due to the serene nature of the layout but was pleasantly surprised at the modern dialogue exchanged by both mother and daughter. I enjoyed the tactic you are using to begin your storybook. And I also like how you threw in that the daughter was half Indian. That way she is more exposed to her culture on that side. Also, how the mom offered her advice because of her experience in her previous marriage. I'm interested to see how reading all these love stories with these couples from the Indian epics will change her view about that boy that she says she just fell in love with! Great job and good luck with the progress on your project!
Great introduction! I really like the photograph that you chose. The character of the leather makes me curious about what stories are beneath its cover. The dialogue was very well done. Your colloquial language made me feel like I had my ear to the phone and was listening to the conversation directly. I recommend that you name your characters in the first sentence. I find that naming characters makes them seem more real. I know that your stories are going to be about Dasaratha and Kaikeyi; Sita and Rama; and Shakuntala and Dushyanta, but you didn’t make a laundry list. Excellent work. It seems like love at first sight keeps coming up in the stories that we read. I think this introduction both addresses that subject in a modern context and sets up the stories. I don’t know if you plan to finish your storybook with another phone call between the mother and daughter, but I think it would be a powerful way to conclude.
ReplyDeleteNichole,
ReplyDeleteI absolutely love your opening the introduction is an intriguing story. I love how the mom left the notebook of the epics. I could see this in a show or movie or something. Your site is also really awesome. The interaction between the mom and daughter is so real. I have an extremely funny story that goes along with your storybook. I actually met my fiancee in chemistry class over 5 years ago. We hung out with friends a couple weekends after that. Two weeks later we were dating and have been ever since. We were friends for two weeks and have been best friends ever since. I giggle at that because we are getting married this coming summer. I will be coming back to see how the story develops. Keep up the great work. I really love your writing style too. I'm glad I got paired with you again. I had read some of your blog posts early this semester.
Your comment made my night! It was too funny! I can't believe that you met your fiance in chemistry class! I picked chemistry because it was supposed to relate how the girl felt "chemistry" with her crush. Congratulations on your engagement, and I wish you the best on your marriage!
DeleteI have only read your introduction so far so I am first going to say that I think your homepage is really nice. I like the background, it is actually the same background as my storybook, and I like the picture that you used. I also enjoyed your introduction. It was very easy to follow and to read. I loved the dialogue between the daughter and mother. It definitely sounds like a conversation that could really happen. I think it was a great lead-in to the other stories that you have. It gave me enough information to know what your storybook is about and it caught my interest. I will probably be back in future weeks to read the rest of the stories because you made it sound so interesting. I also like how you are using the stories as a journal to teach about love. I think that is a unique way to present the stories and I can't wait to read more. Great job.
ReplyDeleteHey Nicole!
ReplyDeleteI like to start off by complimenting on your choice of image for when you first click on the storybook. It really lets the viewers know what they are getting into. Just from the image you can tell this storybook is going to about love. I also how like simple and plain your storybook is. It really sets a peaceful and pretty tone for your storybook.
I really enjoyed you introduction. I like how you found a way to introduce the Indian love epics. It was really creative. I like how you modernized to make it more relatable. I think every girl goes through that phase where they “think” they have fallen in love or found the “one” way before they are even mature enough to understand what love is. I did not notice any errors or anything. Good job Nicole! I look forward to reading more your post and storybooks.
The picture on you opening page of the storybook was a perfect summation of the context inside. I like the approach you have with your character, Oakley, and how she’s using the stories from her heritage as a guidance in her own life. It also reminds me a bit of the princess bride in that the stories are coming alive for Oakley when she reads them. Sita’s entry reminds me of the Songs of Solomon. It shows how she’s completely enamored with Rama and her passions are overwhelming. Rama comes off a bit immature when he claims to be embarrassed by his reactions to Sita and through his brother’s teasing, which is a bit uncharacteristic of the Rama we’ve been reading about. I also think it’d help to have the thoughts that are Oakley’s entries set aside more so that it’s clearer that these are her own thoughts and not Rama’s or Sita’s.
ReplyDeleteNicole,
ReplyDeleteI loved the concept for your storybook! Something that stood out to me right away was the title of your stories on the sidebar. First of all, most people only have one story as part of the storybook right now, so go you for being ahead of the game! Second of all, the titles instantly made me excited to speed through the introduction to get to your stories because the titles themselves were so creative. However, I tried to speed through the introduction, but could not because your introduction was also so well-written! You are a great writer Nicole and it shows in your storybook project for this class. I loved the whole concept in the introduction of mother and daughter having a conversation about a boy. So simple, yet so powerful. It really added a lot to the introduction just to have the whole thing be a conversation. I do think there is room to add a little more detail if you wanted to do that, but your storybook definitely is not lacking!
Nicole! I love reading your work because you are such a good writer! I also really like your storybook. You are so ahead in this class so props to you! Your story book is very organized and easy to navigate. I like the titles you have like " through Sita's heart and Rama's eyes". The title itself explains a lot about both of these characters. I can tell that you have proofread and corrected any grammar mistakes. I like how you used very descriptive words in your writing. I enjoyed reading your second story. It definitely has a good message about the sacrifices that should be made for the one you love. I am definitely looking forward to more stories to come! Great job!
ReplyDeleteI chose you as my free option for this week. I had already read your introduction so I decided that I would read your first story, Through Sita's Heart and Rama's Eyes. I first want to say that I love the title of this story. It is very poetic. I also like how you incorporated everyone's thoughts. The young girl who is reading the diary gives her opinion both at the beginning and the end of the story and I think that it fits in well. I also like how you had Rama and Sita tell their thoughts. It felt very modern even though the stories are older. I think that they were written very well and fit with your storybook concept. I really enjoy the way that you write. It is very descriptive but flows so well. It was easy to read and that is the reason that I chose to come back to your storybook. I will have to read some more in the weeks to come. Good job so far!
ReplyDeleteHey Nicole! I got to read your storybook this week and so far I really like it! It’s sort of like a young readers fiction novel where the stories of old start to intertwine with what’s happening now. Might even be, “Young Love 101”? When I was reading your introduction I didn’t really understand what was going on until the mother tells Oakley about the journal and then it all became clear.
ReplyDeleteI loved both of your stories and I think that the contrast between the two is perfect! I didn’t see a whole lot of grammar mistakes but I think it would make it easier to read if you split up the paragraphs into smaller paragraphs. You might even elaborate on Oakley’s part as she reads through the journal to get a more complete feel of the difference between the stories and the character that you’re using. However overall it’s a great storybook and I look forward to reading more!
Hey Nicole! This is my second time reading your storybook so far and I like the way things are developing. When I first read your storybook it was at the point where you only had an introduction so I couldn’t really see how things were being developed but now that I have read more I can see where the story is going. I love how you have the story set up through the point of view of a modern day college girl who has her own crush, its like she is Sita and whoever she loves is Rama, in a way. I think its cool how the story is her looking back on an old book and reading through it to find that these people who lived so long ago had the exact same struggles for love that she is going through! I also like how you italicize the girl’s thoughts so that the reader can get a feel of what she is thinking while she reads through the story. Great work!
ReplyDeleteNicole, I was drawn to your storybook site because of your unique title “When Love Confesses”. I instantly thought it would be a great read and I was right! I also assumed from the beginning that it would be about Rama and Sita, so I was very pleased to find out that I was right because I love the story of Rama and Sita, although I never appreciated the ending to that epic relationship in the Ramayana. I love the idea of how you incorporated other women who write diaries about falling in love with Rama though! I think it is a very interesting perspective to look at Rama and Sita’s love story through their eyes. You did a great job of drawing the reader in and not drawing them back out by boring them. You kept me interested the whole time and I want more! Overall, you did a fantastic job with this storybook!
ReplyDeleteSince I had already read your introduction and first story, I read your second story, Through Dasharatha's Soul and Kaikeyi's Mind. I really love your storybook. I think that this story goes well with what your storybook is. I like how we have Oakley's thoughts in the beginning before she reads the story and then again after she has read it. I think that the story is well written and you can really sense the emotions between Dasharatha and Kaikeyi. It shows that they had a strong love but it deteriorated because of a lack of commitment. It gives more of a reason why Kaikeyi ends up so bitter. She is needing attention that Dasharatha isn't giving her. It is a good lesson for Oakley to learn that a relationship is more than just the infatuation. Its also about commitment to each other. Overall, I really enjoyed your story and I think that it was easy to read and fit in with your theme.
ReplyDeleteHi Nicole! I was immediately drawn to read your storybook because I am such a hopeless romantic, and anything about love I have got a read. I am such a sucker for all things lovey dovey, even though I hate to admit it. I thought your introduction was a clever and funny way to preface your stories. At first I was wondering how it was all going to relate, but I loved how itall came together at the end. What a great idea to pull together some of the great love stories we've read into a storybook like this. I thought the first story was great, and it definitely made me excited to read the rest of your storybook. Overall, I think you are off to a great start. Your storybook is crelative, well-written, easy to read, and interesting. Keep up the great work!
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ReplyDeleteCool story Nicole!. I liked how instead of writing about rama and sita you chose to write about Dashartha and kaikeyi, It was really interesting how you used diary entries and the readers reflection about them as the content of your story. What I liked most is how the reader filled in the gaps of the story and always made a great introduction into the next paragraph.The layout of site makes it easy to read to. There is not anything to distract the reader nor is your site bland either. Your essay is however full of grammar mistakes. (just Kidding) . Its writing is really well done from grammar mistakes to the actually organization of your story. Have you thought about writing about Drapudi and the Pandavas? What about instead of relationship between lovers how about Ravana and the brother who betrayed him? Keep the stories coming I thought they were really interesting!
ReplyDeleteAs I was scrolling though the class directory, I remembered reading your Storybook introduction and thought it was amazing. I love the way you have built the layout. It really complements the theme of the story. Also, the other two stories you have added since then are wonderful and fit perfectly with the idea that I see that you are developing. I think you have a really great voice when you write and a unique take on retelling stories. I am really interested to see how you are going to end this Storybook. Is the girl going to stay fixated on her boy? Is she going to have a heart-to-heart with her mom? I am curious but I can see that you will have a great plan for it! I definitely plan on coming back around to read the rest of the Storybook. Good job and keep up the great work!
ReplyDeleteThis was my third time reading this story book, and your newest addition, “Through Dasharatha’s Soul and Kaikeyi’s Mind”, added a very different element to the story book compared to the other stories. I think this addition was a very nice touch, as true love is not only about the first few moments when everything feels new and exciting, but also about the hard times and the struggles couples go through after time passes. I like how you set up the story so that the same problem is individually being described by the two opposing viewpoints one at a time, first from the perspective of Dasharatha and then from Kaikeyi. It’s interesting to see how their two views are so different from one another, and both could be doing more to improve their relationship with one another. I also like that this story kind of sets up a backstory for why Kaikeyi ends up betraying Dasharatha in the Ramayana. Great story, kep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHi, Nicole!
ReplyDeleteI am actually in the Myth-Folklore class, but I wanted to pop over for my extra credit this week. I am taking the Indian Epics course next semester, so I wanted kind of an idea of what the content of the class was like. The title of your storybook caught my attention. Although I am not much for love stories, the idea of love confessing was really intriguing to me. I thought your coverpage photo gave the reader a really good idea about what the characters in the stories might be like.
I read your introduction, and it did a great job of leading into your topic. The dialogue between the mother and daughter was very reminiscent of a girl I knew my freshman year of college—the image of a naïve girl head over heels with a boy she doesn’t even know is one we are all familiar with. It was really creative to use that as a lead in for what I’m assuming are more traditional stories. Nicely done! Sidenote: I love the name Oakley.
I wanted to leave a comment on your wall as a part of the extra credit commenting. This is because I have really enjoyed reading your blog and keeping up with what you have been doing. I know you paired with me early on in the semester. I am glad to see that you are blazing ahead. I wish the best for you in your other classes.
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